Sunday, June 23, 2024

BLOG: In praise of JD and Morphine, but what’s the Latin for that?

Alan discusses shoulder injuries with Nick Matthew, who is trying hard to stay awake.

My friend Sara Rennie Heretick keeps the players in shape at the NAO in Richmond.

She posted an amusing quote to her Facebook page, saying: “When you were a kid, your music teacher could always tell when you had NOT practiced between lessons. When you are an adult, your massage therapist can tell when you are NOT doing your stretches between visits, no matter what you might tell him/her. :-)”

My response was: “I’ve been rumbled. I hated Latin at school …. now I know lots. Erector spinae, gluteus maximus, latissimus dorsi, sacro iliacs …. the list goes on. And why do they all hurt so much?”

Seriously, I was guilty of that cardinal sin, failing to practice what I preach. Stretching and staying supple are vitally important for all squash players, and especially wounded vets like me.

I was finally feeling pain-free after a long-term injury but last week took to a cold court without stretching and within a few minutes my back had seized up.

Asking your wife to tie your shoelaces (having had to put your socks on for you first of all) is a very humbling experience.

I had been out of action for a year with a painful back injury that ultimately caused my right leg to go into spasm. I was due to visit the osteopath but it was so painful that I dialled 999 instead and ended up in hospital.

They wired me up and detected a heart rate of 200-plus, caused, presumably, by the pain. I am now a big fan of morphine. In fact, JD and Morphine is now my favourite drink when I go out clubbing.

I know we are in November, but it’s time to begin my New Year’s Resolution two months early. Here goes:

I promise I will stretch every day.

I promise I will stretch every day.

I promise ….

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