Sunday, March 26, 2023

Alan’s Blog: Tune up for World Squash Day with the ideal song for squash

Darren Hanlon belts it out for squash
Darren Hanlon belts it out for squash

World Squash Day anthem by Darren Hanlon

By Alan Thatcher, Squash Mad Editor

Twitter was abuzz this week with lots of fun posts about the ideal song for squash. There are plenty of songs about walls, and thanks to Jerry Lee Lewis, we have Great Balls of Fire, which Cam Pilley might adopt (just for his squash).

However, after much Tweeting, and lots of laughs along the way, the democratic decision headed for one song in particular. It’s pretty obvious, really, when you look at the title:

(There’s Just Not Enough Songs About) Squash. It’s by Darren Hanlon, an Australian from Gympie in Queensland. It’s on an album called Little Chills. So, please sing along, and, better still, go out and buy the album.



Why do I bother I don’t know
I’ll turn off my radio
Day after day
The airways are awash
With songs of ones in love
And those who are out of
There’s just not enough songs about squash

Maybe to you it’s just a game
Somewhere you heard the name
Not for the claustrophobic
A pastime for the posh
Without sounding too peculiar
If it’s a cardiovascular
You’re after then you can’t go past squash

Netball, t-ball, orienteering
Are all worth a second hearing
Football, handball, four-in-a-square
Are all good but they just don’t compare

I hope I’m speaking clearly
Because there’s no not nearly
Enough songs about squash

Oh no it’s raining
We’ll have to cancel tennis training
But look here, never fear
Throw down that mackintosh
I know a game under a roof
It’s just four walls and the truth
It’s fun, rain, hail or sun
It’s squash

Red dot, green dot, yellow dot ball
Try and bounce it off the wall
Headband, wristband, fuzzy handled racket
Can’t some DJ play a squash song in their bracket?

Though I’m not trying to fool ya
It’ll either kill or cure ya
It’s squash

You see there’s not enough songs
There’s not enough songs
There’s not enough songs about squash

There’s not enough songs
There’s not enough songs
There’s not enough songs about squash


 Pictures from

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1 Comment

  1. If this doesn’t get a Grammy, don’t know what should …. but then we say a similar thing about squash being in Olympics 🙁

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